Tip for the ladies...

[CaptainBallz]

---CaptainB's Tip O' teh Day!!---

Ladies, when asking a guy how large his penis is and the guy says "guess", please follow these helpful tips:

-- Do NOT start more than 4-5 inches above average (5-6 in), unless aiming to flatter.

-- If you do start high and the guy chuckles and says "smaller" DO NOT begin descending in 1/4 inch increments. (ie. 10 3/4? 10 1/2?? 10 1/4!!!?? :omg: ) making it sound like you're descending into a woefully disappointing range with every quarter inch.

-- DO NOT continue this way after descending one (1) inch in this manner.

-- Possibly attempt to "box in" the length you're looking to hear. (i.e. Ten?? No, ok 3???) This allows the guy to maybe say "Bigger"... which whether you understand it or not ladies, is a good thing.

-- DO NOT forget to sound pleasantly content with whatever size the guy eventually states, be it 1in or 13in...

Follow these tips and you will have made that little exercise fun and uplifting for BOTH parties involved.

:thumbsup:

/CaptainB's Tip O' teh Day!!!

[BURGH]

TDG plays that game with Joosh.

[fquaye14ten]

wow---that is certainly something i would be unlikely to say to a woman

"guess how big my penis is"?

i would say "guess how big my bank account is"

"SMALLER"

"MUCH SMALLER"

"keep going till you scrape the bottom"

[CaptainBallz]

Is this thread for real? [rolleyes]

Fuckin' A, bro...

:hatefuck:

[pdimas]

I like to set expectations low. I always tell girls I have a small penis. Then when they realize its not tiny they get a surprise. Better a surprise then a let down I always say. (for the record I just like saying I have a small penis to girls because they always expect to hear the opposite and it amuses me to see their reactions - I am pretty damned confident in myself)

[fquaye14ten]

I like to set expectations low. I always tell girls I have a small penis. Then when they realize its not tiny they get a surprise. Better a surprise then a let down I always say. (for the record I just like saying I have a small penis to girls because they always expect to hear the opposite and it amuses me to see their reactions - I am pretty damned confident in myself)

exactly---no point in overly raising expectations.

give them the straight up---or even be self-deprecating, and shit gets bananas

WOO

[pdimas]

exactly---no point in overly raising expectations.

give them the straight up---or even be self-deprecating, and shit gets bananas

WOO

Sometimes I'll take it a step further. I'll say Im not lying my penis is tiny. I mean cmon i have a little Chinese in me even! I almost always get a laugh chuckle or amused look with that one.

[CaptainBallz]

Sometimes I'll take it a step further. I'll say Im not lying my penis is tiny. I mean cmon i have a little Chinese in me even! I almost always get a laugh chuckle or amused look with that one.

Indeed, that is the best policy. There was a certain situation that prevented me from lying about it it this particular instance, so I had to play ball...:o

[fquaye14ten]

fag

[CaptainBallz]

fag

http://www.monochrom.at/english/pictures/hasselhoffian-recursion.gif

[SoxFan76]

Sometimes I'll take it a step further. I'll say Im not lying my penis is tiny. I mean cmon i have a little Chinese in me even! I almost always get a laugh chuckle or amused look with that one.

I do the same thing. I always say I have a tiny penis. It always gets a rise (no pun intended) out of people.

[LuvSox]

What if your weiner is out BEFORE you talk to the woman?


:shrug guy:

[Unregistered]

(for the record I just like saying I have a small penis to girls because they always expect to hear the opposite and it amuses me to see their reactions - I am pretty damned confident in myself)

Good to know. You wouldn't want a room full of dudes thinking you have a below average cock... [shrug]

[CaptainBallz]

What if your weiner is out BEFORE you talk to the woman?


:shrug guy:

:helloexactly:

[Myrtle]

Guy seem to care more about these size issues than women anyway...

It's not about the size but what you can do with it.

[CaptainBallz]

Guy seem to care more about these size issues than women anyway...

It's not about the size but what you can do with it.

Then why do you all ask... huh huh

Plus, I'll go ahead and call bullshit because I've heard plenty of girls go around and make a stink of it for good and (supposedly) bad reasons.

[Myrtle]

Then why do you all ask... huh huh

Plus, I'll go ahead and call bullshit because I've heard plenty of girls go around and make a stink of it for good and (supposedly) bad reasons.

Have I ever asked you how big your dick is? No, I have not.

Trust me, if you were gay would you want some guys 10 inch cock in your ass? No thank you.

[Unregistered]

Guy seem to care more about these size issues than women anyway...

It's not about the size but what you can do with it.

Once again Myrtle uses her own personal preference as the rule for all women. [rolls eyes] (stupid smilies...)

[CaptainBallz]

Have I ever asked you how big your dick is? No, I have not.

I've been meaning to ask when you were going to do that...

Trust me, if you were gay would you want some guys 10 inch cock in your ass? No thank you.

I can speak for my own gay hypotheticals thank you...and I'm pretty sure that if i were gay, I'd be open for any business coming my way.
I'd also go with the gay lumberjack look.

[Myrtle]

Once again Myrtle uses her own personal preference as the rule for all women. [rolls eyes] (stupid smilies...)

It's all about generalizations. [nana]

Seriously, though. We've had this discussion before on WSJ (with PH13) and it was determined that a tiny dick is obviously no good but a super large one is also not very helpful either considering most women would typically be intimidated by it. 5-6.5 inches is where its at.

[chisoxtony]

---CaptainB's Tip O' teh Day!!---

Ladies, when asking a guy how large his penis is and the guy says "guess", please follow these helpful tips:

-- Do NOT start more than 4-5 inches above average (5-6 in), unless aiming to flatter.

-- If you do start high and the guy chuckles and says "smaller" DO NOT begin descending in 1/4 inch increments. (ie. 10 3/4? 10 1/2?? 10 1/4!!!?? :omg: ) making it sound like you're descending into a woefully disappointing range with every quarter inch.

-- DO NOT continue this way after descending one (1) inch in this manner.

-- Possibly attempt to "box in" the length you're looking to hear. (i.e. Ten?? No, ok 3???) This allows the guy to maybe say "Bigger"... which whether you understand it or not ladies, is a good thing.

-- DO NOT forget to sound pleasantly content with whatever size the guy eventually states, be it 1in or 13in...

Follow these tips and you will have made that little exercise fun and uplifting for BOTH parties involved.

:thumbsup:

/CaptainB's Tip O' teh Day!!!

That's rude..she shouldn't have to ask if she's interested..

If I see a girl who seems as if she's curious..I just grab her hand and let her feel for herself....(that way she won't feel uncomfortable by trying to ask the question)...

[Unregistered]

It's all about generalizations. [nana]

Seriously, though. We've had this discussion before on WSJ (with PH13) and it was determined that a tiny dick is obviously no good but a super large one is also not very helpful either considering most women would typically be intimidated by it. 5-6.5 inches is where its at.

5 inches?!?

C'mon Myrtle. Most chicks aren't gung ho about 5 inches.

[CaptainBallz]

5 inches?!?

C'mon Myrtle. Most chicks aren't gung ho about 5 inches.

Unreg speaks from experience...

:D :confused: :bolt:

[Unregistered]

Unreg speaks from experience...

:D :confused: :bolt:

Damn right. If I had a 5 incher, I wouldn't even let it out of the house.

That's just bad business.

[Timmy D's]

I just had 5 inches taken off during my penile reduction surgery.

[fquaye14ten]

can i have it? that would put me at positive 2 inches

[CaptainBallz]

can i have it? that would put me at positive 2 inches

quaye before surgery---

http://www.blackfronts.com/images/mangina.jpg

[fquaye14ten]

WOOOOOOOOOO

[fquaye14ten]

thus spaketh zoso

[CaptainBallz]

I think Myrtle's mostly right. I mean physiologically, the 5.5 to 6.5 is the average and therefore the best fit. The average isn't even 6 inches. Of course a horse cock is a turn on to a woman just like huge jugs are to a man, but both are essentially useless extravagances. They're nice to have, but neither is necessary.

One thing women like more than anything else is confidence. If you have that and a good tongue you're golden.

Yeah, but she's also lobbying that the awesomely below average is "just fine" and women don't really think much about it as long as the motion of the ocean is right-- I'm just hollerin bullshit based on crap that I've heard women say... they DO take size into account, even as it might be the womanly PC thing to say that they don't. :shrug:

Also, even though confidence might help, these little tips are all susceptible to the type of woman you approach. You can go after someone with all the confidence in the world, but if she doesn't like your shoes, for instance, you're fucked-- in the wrong way. It's cruel and unusual and has never made much sense.
That's why I laugh at the whole dumbass "relationship advice" industry. It's all based on random chemicals and neurons that we really have little control over. So hey, why all the hullaballoo?

Either way, my wangus is like 150 feet tall

[fquaye14ten]

my schwiz is long enough to slap a chick across the cheek with.

what more do you need?

[Timmy D's]

I think Myrtle's mostly right. I mean physiologically, the 5.5 to 6.5 is the average and therefore the best fit. The average isn't even 6 inches. Of course a horse cock is a turn on to a woman just like huge jugs are to a man, but both are essentially useless extravagances. They're nice to have, but neither is necessary.

One thing women like more than anything else is confidence. If you have that and a good tongue you're golden.


That should be written in stone and time capsoled! Very profound! I sir, am impressed.

[SoxFan76]

I think Myrtle's mostly right. I mean physiologically, the 5.5 to 6.5 is the average and therefore the best fit. The average isn't even 6 inches. Of course a horse cock is a turn on to a woman just like huge jugs are to a man, but both are essentially useless extravagances. They're nice to have, but neither is necessary.

One thing women like more than anything else is confidence. If you have that and a good tongue you're golden.

QuotedBecauseIAgree (QBIA)

The tongue can get you places. Also, massages. I used to hang out with many members of the Alpha Phi Omega co-ed service fraternity. I hooked up with many of the girls in that frat and they all know about this guy's tongue and massaging ability. I'd say 2 out of 5 times I party with them I end up hooking up with somebody.

[fquaye14ten]

That is so true. I mean you can argue and debate endlessly on what women and men want but the fact of the matter is everyone is fucking different. It's all fucking random and it's all about chemistry. It's not much different than going on job interviews--some recruiters will think you're totally awesome and want you immediately and some will think you're an idiot or unqualified. There isn't much to it and it's about being in the right place at the right time so just go out there and see what happens. [shrug]



I also think I am awesome.


wait wait wait---are you saying....everyone is...DIFFERENT?

[Unregistered]

Did you play cunt pong and listen to Days of the New?

LAWLZ

[Myrtle]

5 inches?!?

C'mon Myrtle. Most chicks aren't gung ho about 5 inches.

I was kinda trying to be nice. [wink]

5 inches can't be THAT bad as long as you know what to do with it.

[Iwritecode]

Yeah, there's no getting around it. It's probably the truest thing ever spake on the inturnet.

Just remember, you're unique. Just like everyone else.

[Myrtle]

I think Myrtle's mostly right. I mean physiologically, the 5.5 to 6.5 is the average and therefore the best fit. The average isn't even 6 inches. Of course a horse cock is a turn on to a woman just like huge jugs are to a man, but both are essentially useless extravagances. They're nice to have, but neither is necessary.

One thing women like more than anything else is confidence. If you have that and a good tongue you're golden.

Damn straight I am right.

From my own personal experience and preferences, a 10 inch dick isn't going to do anyone any good. I don't care what girls tell you, that shit's not on my list of priorities because there's only so much room in there anyway. Sure, it might be fun to look at, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to be dealing with a pole that big. Besides, if you wanna talk size, length isn't always the issue, you gotta worry about how thick it is too.

[cbotnyse]

Isn't circumference more important?

[cbotnyse]

Mine is the length of Charlemagne's foot, but it's also the width of a vermicelli noodle.you just made CaptainB blush

[CaptainBallz]

you just made CaptainB blush

How'd you know I was a huge fan of the Holy Roman Empire?

[cbotnyse]

How'd you know I was a huge fan of the Holy Roman Empire?:shrug:

[LuvSox]

my schwiz is long enough to slap a chick across the cheek with.

what more do you need?

My wang has a credit score of 720, mainly because it pays it's bills in a timely manner.

[fquaye14ten]

woot

[BURGH]

Do I sculpt the penis?