"Yeah, they're day-olds"

[cheeses_h_rice]

The homeless won't even touch them. Oh, we try to fool them by putting a few fresh ones on top, but they dig...they, they test.

[cbotnyse]

Scab!!!! Scab!!!!!

[cheeses_h_rice]

What is it, fright night?

[cbotnyse]

What is it, fright night?yamma hamma

[cheeses_h_rice]

I find your belief system fascinating.

[cheeses_h_rice]

Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.

[cbotnyse]

Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.Its Kooger....who's the suit?

[itsnotrequired]

As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way...

[cheeses_h_rice]

Chips, this is a Seinfeld quote thread. WTF was that?

Oh, and: That must have been some doll, Frank.

[cbotnyse]

I got a card, and they stamp it every time I buy a sub. 24 stamps, and I become a submarine captain.

[cheeses_h_rice]

Never watched it, since I'm 15 years older than nearly everyone else here. Start your own damn thread!

Look, I don't know who you are, but I've met Jerry's girlfriend and you're not her. You're much better looking. And about a foot taller.

[cbotnyse]

You make a lot of man friends. You know who's a man? Charlie here, he's a man. You know who else? Me. I'm a man.

[cbotnyse]

Then what?:shrug: free sub. :(

[cbotnyse]

Boysenberry, the kid is still learning.

[TeeDeeGee]

You give me one coffee drinker on that jury and you'll be a rich man.

[cheeses_h_rice]

Look away, I'm hideous.

[TeeDeeGee]

"In case of overheating, turn off air conditioning"?! Never!

[cbotnyse]

You got a question, you ask the 8-Ball.

[TeeDeeGee]

Feels like an Arby's night.

[CaptainBallz]

Quote threads suck.



gene

[TeeDeeGee]

Quote threads suck.



gene

You know I could've killed you and nobody would've noticed.

[cheeses_h_rice]

I got news for you. I show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi, I become the biggest hit at the party. People would be coming up to me, "Just between you and me, I'm really excited about the Ring Dings and the Pepsi."

[TeeDeeGee]

BIG COAT! BIG COAT!

[cheeses_h_rice]

Mike: Jerry! First of all, I think you completely misunderstood what I said. I meant it in a complimentary way. I mean, you know when people say, 'He's bad', it really means he's good, sort of thing? You know, slang.

Jerry: Use it in a sentence.

Mike: Man, that Michael Jordan is so phony.

[cbotnyse]

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a quickie. You know what? If I could add TV to the equation, that would really be the ultimate

[itsnotrequired]

Now see, the two of you need to work on trust...then and only then will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts, cornerstones of a healthy relationship...and now, if you would excuse us, we need to get to bed.

[cheeses_h_rice]

What do I need to talk for, huh? What, to blab to the neighbors about how George has a new femme Jerry friend? To tell everybody at the coffee shop how George is all mixed up in a perverse sexual amalgam of some girl and his best friend?

[LuvSox]

I don't trust this guy. I think he re-gifted, and then he de-gifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

[Sir Realist]

...and you wanna be my latex salesman.

[Sir Realist]

http://cmilligan.home.att.net/zapruder.gif
His head went back... and to the left... back... and to the left...

[cbotnyse]

Oh Moses smell the roses.

[cheeses_h_rice]

Mr. Tomasuto picked the wrong man to fire because he was fake handicapped.

[LuvSox]

I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me they’re thinking, "that’s why I’m not a heterosexual."

[cbotnyse]

I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me they’re thinking, "that’s why I’m not a heterosexual."lets stick to Seinfeld quotes and not your everyday problems. mmmm kay?

[LuvSox]

Actually it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and CBOTNYSE was spotting me. I kept slipping and burning my thighs and then finally I slipped and fell on CBOT's head. We've been close ever since.

[Timmy D's]

Now, where's that tool shed of yours?

[fquaye14ten]

be original you guys, come on. be like me. i'm totally original

[Myrtle]

be original you guys, come on.

As much as I like Seinfeld, that's why this thread sucks. Just sayin'

[LuvSox]

As much as I like Seinfeld, that's why this thread sucks. Just sayin'

We've been LBT'd.

[cbotnyse]

As much as I like Seinfeld, that's why this thread sucks. Just sayin':postsucks:

[cbotnyse]

We've been LBT'd.damn it, your post is better than mine.

[Myrtle]

We've been LBT'd.

How? I've actually seen Seinfeld. :thumbsup:

[Myrtle]

damn it, your post is better than mine.


Ah ha.

:sexyparty:

[fquaye14ten]

guh-rifted

[Timmy D's]

You can't put a limit on my cafe lattes,
it says so right here. And I don't want to get dirty looks when I come in here.
If I want a cafe latte, you give me a cafe latte. And if I have any problems I'm gonna get my lawyer Jackie Chiles down here and your gonna be in really big trouble

[cheeses_h_rice]

You can't put a limit on my cafe lattes,
it says so right here. And I don't want to get dirty looks when I come in here.
If I want a cafe latte, you give me a cafe latte. And if I have any problems I'm gonna get my lawyer Jackie Chiles down here and your gonna be in really big trouble

Classic.

"Slow down, you're racing."

[Sir Realist]

I don't have a square to spare.

[Prope]

I eat the whole apple. Core and all...

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Hey! Look who's eating at 6:00

[itsnotrequired]

Clip show on right now. Nothing but one-liners.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

stockdale is not sponge-worthy

[cbotnyse]

Its a write off for them.

[cbotnyse]

Do you even know what a write off is?All the big corporations do it. And they are the ones writing it off.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

shoot locked myself out of the office again..... that's it I'm going home.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

you mean this food was in the shower with you?

[JohnBasedowYoda]

he's the best.... and the worst:omg:

[itsnotrequired]

KRAMER: What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?

LELAND: Kramer, I've...been reviewing your work. Quite frankly, it stinks.

KRAMER: Well, I uh..been havin' trouble at home and uh...I mean, uh, you know, I'll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes.

LELAND: No, no, I don't think that's going to, do it. These reports you handed in...it's almost as if you have no business training at all. I don't know what this is supposed to be.

KRAMER: Well, I'm uh, just--tryin' to get ahead..

LELAND: Well, I'm sorry. There's just no way that we could keep you on.

KRAMER: I don't even really work here!

LELAND: That's what makes this so difficult.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

It says Moops

[LuvSox]

It says Moops


Take your top off.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

How can I say this... well you and Elaine...she's been in your bed?


That's right...but she put a stop to that.

[cbotnyse]

JERRY: So, Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you, huh? No more "grease monkey".
PUDDY: I don’t care for that term.
JERRY: Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know..
PUDDY: No, I don’t know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.
JERRY: I saw one once that could do sign language.
PUDDY: Yeah, I saw that one. Uh.. Koko.
JERRY: Yeah, Koko.
PUDDY: Right, Koko. That chimp’s alright. (Holds up his hand) High-five.

[Timmy D's]

I WILL NOT TOLERATE.........INFESTATION!!!!!!!!!

[JohnBasedowYoda]

soak of the year, mahn

[itsnotrequired]

JERRY: So, Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you, huh? No more "grease monkey".
PUDDY: I don’t care for that term.
JERRY: Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know..
PUDDY: No, I don’t know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.
JERRY: I saw one once that could do sign language.
PUDDY: Yeah, I saw that one. Uh.. Koko.
JERRY: Yeah, Koko.
PUDDY: Right, Koko. That chimp’s alright. (Holds up his hand) High-five.

Classic episode. How about when he lists off the extras for the Saab after the breakup?

rustproofing, transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder’s fee, floor mats, keys...

[Timmy D's]

I'm in love. Yeah, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I love her Jerry, I really love
her. I'm gonna ask her to marry me. She's got everything I've always wanted in another human being.
Except for the walking.

[cbotnyse]

Classic episode. How about when he lists off the extras for the Saab after the breakup?

rustproofing, transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder’s fee, floor mats, keys...How ya gonna start it?

[Timmy D's]

This is our best model. The Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like... you're almost glad to be handicapped.

[itsnotrequired]

This is our best model. The Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like... you're almost glad to be handicapped.

I put Stephen Hawking in one of these two months ago. He's lovin' it!

[LuvSox]

"...If I don't get a black and white cookie I'm not going to be very pleasant to be around." - Bette

"Now, that's impossible." - Kramer

[TeeDeeGee]

The Ukraine is weak!

[itsnotrequired]

The Ukraine is weak!

we're playing a game here, pal...

[itsnotrequired]

This is some office. What's the square footage?

There was deli on the first floor. You don't get corner beef like that anymore.

[cheeses_h_rice]

I saw that "Beaches" on cable the other night...'Wing Beneath My Wings'...give me a break.

[itsnotrequired]

I saw that "Beaches" on cable the other night...'Wing Beneath My Wings'...give me a break.

I saw a provocative movie on cable television last night called "The Net" with that chick from the bus.

[cbotnyse]

The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli.

[BURGH]

....... Why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie you wish to see!?!?

[cbotnyse]

love that T-bone.

[Doug Simpson]

Tippytoe....tippytoe.

[LuvSox]

What's so great about a mom and pop store? Let me tell you something, if my mom and pop ran a store I wouldn't shop there.

[BURGH]

And this crazy guy we just call Feldman!

[Sir Realist]

...from what I hear, those Serbs are pretty fanatical about their showers.

[Prope]

KRAMER, "Elaine listen, I'm going to stop by later. I have a fax coming to you."
ELAINE, "I don't have a fax machine."
KRAMER, "Are you sure? There are a lot of things in my apartment that I don't even know I have."
ELAINE, "Then maybe, you have a fax machine."
KRAMER, "...you just blew my mind."

[cbotnyse]

What are you starting with me for....you know this is my crazy time of year.

[Timmy D's]

Then Hank Bauer, you know, he's screaming, "Mickey! Mickey! What have
you done with Mickey? You killed Mickey!"

[JohnBasedowYoda]

I started yelping, you know..."yalp!" "yalp!"

[StockdaleforVeep]

why did kramer have a 2 episode stint with bad nose bleeds?

[JohnBasedowYoda]

why did kramer have a 2 episode stint with bad nose bleeds?

"i'm not going to no bellvue"

[StockdaleforVeep]

"i'm not going to no bellvue"

its funny, i developed that chong li fight debate watching enter the dragon at 5 am

[Timmy D's]

Oh, I'm putting up Frank's screen door. This beauty's got a

little life in her yet.

The cool evening breezes of Anytown, USA. Let's see

how this baby closes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[cheeses_h_rice]

:tomatoaward:

[LuvSox]

Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before -- flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over.

[Timmy D's]

The supermarket? That's impossible! They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry. I don't know what's going on with the Papayas! Jerry you gotta go to Joe's, you gotta get me some fruit!

[JohnBasedowYoda]

goodtime buddies :rolling:

I love Bookman. One of the greatest single episode characters ever.

That and Karl:

http://www.duffgardens.net/media/guides/s2/7F02.gif

[cheeses_h_rice]

http://www.victoryseeds.com/catalog/vegetable/cucurbita/images/gourd_dipper_dry.jpg

The Longhandle Dipper Gourd Award

For any thread with 100 replies

That gourd looks like...something....can't quite put my finger on it...

:omg:

[Doug Simpson]

That gourd looks like...something....can't quite put my finger on it...

:omg:


I think your gonna need more than just your finger.

[StockdaleforVeep]

Oh, I'm putting up Frank's screen door. This beauty's got a

little life in her yet.

The cool evening breezes of Anytown, USA. Let's see

how this baby closes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.



I love it how he just has that content giggle when he spins his chime

[Timmy D's]

I love it how he just has that content giggle when he spins his chime

Yeah that's priceless. I hardly ever catch the reruns of that episode it seems.:( :( LOL at when he's chasin the kids away to.:D

[StockdaleforVeep]

and if yer some people, u cant watch cuz richards said a "bad word"

[fquaye14ten]

wow---good point stockdale.


you've got "some people's" number, all right

[cheeses_h_rice]

Are we talking about schvartzes?

[edit: the above post does not mean that cheeses_h_rice condones racism]

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Are we talking about schvartzes?

[edit: the above post does not mean that cheeses_h_rice condones racism]

That's right it doesn't, but we know you do anyway.

[fquaye14ten]

you hear the one about superman tricking a black person into jumping off a bar

[JohnBasedowYoda]

you hear the one about superman tricking a black person into jumping off a bar

:confused:

[Unregistered]

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/5173/100cm0.jpg

[JohnBasedowYoda]

The Hoff looks incredibly well-oiled there:omg: It's distrubing really