Message to America:

[SoxEd]

So, my bro just got back from a business trip to SoCal, and he brought back some of your 'US dollars'.

Which leads me to the following observation:

America; your cash is just cack.

I'm sorry, but, even our most-despised piss-poor excuse for a coin (the 5p piece, which is almost identical to a Canadian 10c piece) has more metal in it, and therefore more apparent worth, than your coins - which are of a quality commensurate with the tokens that we use to access the Lockers in gyms over here.

And, as for your paper bills: only two colors of ink (green & black)?
The 'money' in our version of 'Monopoly' is more impressive.

Heck, even the notorious bumwad that Johnny European uses as cash (the €) conveys more gravitas than the US $.

Also, where on the bill is the picture of Her Majesty?
:confused:

No wonder your currency is worth less than ours....

[Runs away laughing, and hides from the Vengeful Wrath of SATC]

[JohnBasedowYoda]

So, my bro just got back from a business trip to SoCal, and he brought back some of your 'US dollars'.

Which leads me to the following observation:

America; your cash is just cack.

I'm sorry, but, even our most-despised piss-poor excuse for a coin (the 5p piece, which is almost identical to a Canadian 10c piece) has more metal in it, and therefore more apparent worth, than your coins - which are of a quality commensurate with the tokens that we use to access the Lockers in gyms over here.

And, as for your paper bills: only two colors of ink (green & black)?
The 'money' in our version of 'Monopoly' is more impressive.

Heck, even the notorious bumwad that Johnny European uses as cash (the €) conveys more gravitas than the US $.

Also, where on the bill is the picture of Her Majesty?
:confused:

No wonder your currency is worth less than ours....

[Runs away laughing, and hides from the Vengeful Wrath of SATC]



All we promise is that each $20 bill has trace amounts of both cocaine and fecal mattter.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Fucking redcoat.

"If your money doesn't have The Queen in her bloomers then I don't want it"

*tea, earl gray, hot*

[SoxEd]

"If your money doesn't have The Queen in her bloomers then I don't want it"

*tea, earl gray, hot*

If it hasn't got Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on it, then I don't give a Rat's Ass!
;)

An honorable exception may be made for the only other currency in the world worth the name - which is, surely, the banknote below:
http://www.banknotes.com/CK3.JPG

[JohnBasedowYoda]

If it hasn't got Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on it, then I don't give a Rat's Ass!
;)

An honorable exception may be made for the only other currency in the world worth the name - which is, surely, the banknote below:
http://www.banknotes.com/CK3.JPG

I knew you were going to flash that badboy

[BFC]

"Look at all that pink and purple!"
"Our money sure is gay."

[SoxEd]

I knew you were going to flash that badboy

It's a Timeless Classic - it would have been remiss of me not to share it with the group.
:D

[Myrtle]

*tea, earl gray, hot*

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4327822273611416271&q=is+jean+luc+picard+of+the+starship+enterprise

[SoxEd]

I also like the following note, which is currently legal tender in Caledonia (and therefore also the rest of Britannia).

http://www.banknotes.com/SQ364.JPG

Recognise the guy in the picture?
What the Vorsprung dürch Technik is he doing on a Scottish note?
:unsure:

I thought that he was one of you Colonial types....

[StockdaleforVeep]

So, my bro just got back from a business trip to SoCal, and he brought back some of your 'US dollars'.

Which leads me to the following observation:

America; your cash is just cack.

I'm sorry, but, even our most-despised piss-poor excuse for a coin (the 5p piece, which is almost identical to a Canadian 10c piece) has more metal in it, and therefore more apparent worth, than your coins - which are of a quality commensurate with the tokens that we use to access the Lockers in gyms over here.

And, as for your paper bills: only two colors of ink (green & black)?
The 'money' in our version of 'Monopoly' is more impressive.

Heck, even the notorious bumwad that Johnny European uses as cash (the €) conveys more gravitas than the US $.

Also, where on the bill is the picture of Her Majesty?
:confused:

No wonder your currency is worth less than ours....

[Runs away laughing, and hides from the Vengeful Wrath of SATC]


For a civilized nation, why do you worship a queen you tart?

[JohnBasedowYoda]

I also like the following note, which is currently legal tender in Caledonia (and therefore also the rest of Britannia).

http://www.banknotes.com/SQ364.JPG

Recognise the guy in the picture?
What the Vorsprung dürch Technik is he doing on a Scottish note?
:unsure:

I thought that he was one of you Colonial types....


In honor of the 1500th time I've seen "Vorsprung dürch Technik" it's about high time you tell me what the hell that means.

[SoxEd]

In honor of the 1500th time I've seen "Vorsprung dürch Technik" it's about high time you tell me what the hell that means.

It's a German phrase that was used over here on ads for Audis throughout the 1980's and well into the 1990's.

It actually means something like 'a leap ahead through Technology' - but I use it when the more usual interjection that shares its initial 'f' sound would be inappropriate.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

It's a German phrase that was used over here on ads for Audis throughout the 1980's and well into the 1990's.

It actually means something like 'a leap ahead through Technology' - but I use it when the more usual interjection that shares its initial 'f' sound would be inappropriate.

Thanks for taking me under your wing. I'm so helpless most of the time:omg:

[chisoxfanatic]

I personally like this bill the best:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ce/2000_05b_new.jpg

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Man, all these bills suck. They don't look "federal" enough. Ours really are the best.

Thus bringing us full circle to all the crazy and mysterious symbols on them.

[SoxEd]

For a civilized nation, why do you worship a queen you tart?

I put it to you that my nation's solution to this particular Political question is actually much more civilised than yours'.

Being a Republic, you elect your Heads of State - which means that you almost invariably get saddled with some career politician (i.e. a power-hungry psychopath) who wants to show everyone that he is now in charge by messing around with your country's Laws, and strutting around the World interacting with the other countries that he's probably spent his entire political career prior to becoming POTUS annoying.

We, on the other hand, breed our Heads of State, and they have no real Political power anyway.

We have a figurehead who is above the quotidian sleaze of contemporary politics, and who is tied to neither main party, and therefore does not split the country along Party lines.

Oh, we also train them from birth in Diplomacy - which is a tremendously valuable asset when we send them off on yet another foreign jolly to represent us overseas.

And, as they've never been in the actual Government, and so have never had to score political points, there is a much lower risk of political embarrassment ensuing if they bump into e.g. Hugo Chavez when visiting another country.

And, perhaps most importantly of all, the pomp and circumstance of it all really shows up the French with their arriviste Presidents.
:rock: :D ;)

One of my favourite pieces of film of all time was the coverage of the 50th Anniversary of the D-Day landings:
One by one, all the elected heads of Europe turn up on this French beach, arriving in dark grey Citröen limos.
They get out, in their bland dark suits, and head up to their seats before the ceremony, accompanied by their wives in sober suits.
Then Clinton arrived in a fuck-off big Cadillac limo in black, got out in his dark suit, and took his place on the podium with Hillary.

Finally, HM the Q (may God bless Her and all who sail in Her) arrived in a huge Bentley limo, in bright Burgundy, and gets out of it in a brightly colored dress, accompanied by Prince Philip in his best ceremonial naval uniform, complete with WW2 service medals and ostrich plumes, and completely upstages the whole bloody lot of 'em! The look on Chirac's face was priceless.

Our country may well not be worth a damn on the world stage, but by God we do pomp & circumstance better than anyone else.

[SoxEd]

Man, all these bills suck. They don't look "federal" enough. Ours really are the best.

You should check out the € banknotes (http://www.ecb.int/bc/euro/banknotes/html/index.en.html).

They all have pictures of bridges &c on them, so you naturally assume that they're real European landmarks, but...

All the members of 'Euroland' threw such a round of hissy fits over which nation's landmarks were on each denomination of banknote that the ECB went and hired a bunch of graphic designers to draw 'landmarks' that looked real but which were, in fact, totally imaginary.

Pathetic, isn't it?

[JohnBasedowYoda]

You should check out the € banknotes (http://www.ecb.int/bc/euro/banknotes/html/index.en.html).

They all have pictures of bridges &c on them, so you naturally assume that they're real European landmarks, but...

All the members of 'Euroland' threw such a round of hissy fits over which nation's landmarks were on each denomination of banknote that the ECB went and hired a bunch of graphic designers to draw 'landmarks' that looked real but which were, in fact, totally imaginary.

Pathetic, isn't it?



Man, are you serious!? Fake landmarks?

"We are at war with Eurasia"

[SoxEd]

Man, are you serious!? Fake landmarks?

"We are at war with Eurasia"

Read the blurb on the site I linked to.
:rolleyes:

[StockdaleforVeep]

I put it to you that my nation's solution to this particular Political question is actually much more civilised than yours'.

Being a Republic, you elect your Heads of State - which means that you almost invariably get saddled with some career politician (i.e. a power-hungry psychopath) who wants to show everyone that he is now in charge by messing around with your country's Laws, and strutting around the World interacting with the other countries that he's probably spent his entire political career prior to becoming POTUS annoying.

We, on the other hand, breed our Heads of State, and they have no real Political power anyway.

We have a figurehead who is above the quotidian sleaze of contemporary politics, and who is tied to neither main party, and therefore does not split the country along Party lines.

Oh, we also train them from birth in Diplomacy - which is a tremendously valuable asset when we send them off on yet another foreign jolly to represent us overseas.

And, as they've never been in the actual Government, and so have never had to score political points, there is a much lower risk of political embarrassment ensuing if they bump into e.g. Hugo Chavez when visiting another country.

And, perhaps most importantly of all, the pomp and circumstance of it all really shows up the French with their arriviste Presidents.
:rock: :D ;)

One of my favourite pieces of film of all time was the coverage of the 50th Anniversary of the D-Day landings:
One by one, all the elected heads of Europe turn up on this French beach, arriving in dark grey Citröen limos.
They get out, in their bland dark suits, and head up to their seats before the ceremony, accompanied by their wives in sober suits.
Then Clinton arrived in a fuck-off big Cadillac limo in black, got out in his dark suit, and took his place on the podium with Hillary.

Finally, HM the Q (may God bless Her and all who sail in Her) arrived in a huge Bentley limo, in bright Burgundy, and gets out of it in a brightly colored dress, accompanied by Prince Philip in his best ceremonial naval uniform, complete with WW2 service medals and ostrich plumes, and completely upstages the whole bloody lot of 'em! The look on Chirac's face was priceless.

Our country may well not be worth a damn on the world stage, but by God we do pomp & circumstance better than anyone else.

Yes but your country sucks

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Read the blurb on the site I linked to.
:rolleyes:

http://www.firedavewannstedt.com/Lost_In_Space_robot_body_1_2_2004.jpg
"ACTING"

[SoxEd]

Yes but your country sucks

Yeah, I know.
:o :( :mad:
EDIT : For the benefit of Yoda:
...except on Tuesdays, when it blows, and on Sundays, when it wipes.

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Yes but your country sucks

That's not deserving of what's sure to be a detailed and witty retort.

EDIT: I was wrong haha

[StockdaleforVeep]

Yeah, I know.
:o :( :mad:

also, our national anthem speaks of rockets, the brave, land, etc

Your pitiful one speaks of saving some old woman

[TeeDeeGee]

Yes but your country sucks

Not to mention...
*dramatic pause*

I.D. CARDS!

*dun dun duuuuuun*

:D

[JohnBasedowYoda]

Not to mention...
*dramatic pause*

I.D. CARDS!

*dun dun duuuuuun*

:D

We'll have them soon enough.

Not to mention they want to put GPS trackers in Passports

[SoxEd]

also, our national anthem speaks of rockets, the brave, land, etc

Your pitiful one speaks of saving some old woman

That's because no-one ever plays it past the first verse.

Later verses mention 'rebellious Scots to crush' (in some versions - no official lyrics for it exist), and, when talking about foreign enemies, 'Confound their politics/Frustrate their knavish tricks'.

Eddie Izzard's version of it is splendid.

[Sir Realist]

http://www.coinsite.com/content/coinpics/currency/Specimen$1000bill.jpg
I light my bong with these.

[1951Campbell]

Man, all these bills suck. They don't look "federal" enough. Ours really are the best.

My critique exactly.

[StockdaleforVeep]

That's because no-one ever plays it past the first verse.

Later verses mention 'rebellious Scots to crush' (in some versions - no official lyrics for it exist), and, when talking about foreign enemies, 'Confound their politics/Frustrate their knavish tricks'.

Eddie Izzard's version of it is splendid.

Heh, so yer anthem is pro crushing neighbors, iiiiii see

god attack the queen send big dogs after her that bite her bum

AH CRAZY DOGS!

Theres a brick in here.....oh its the queens

[StockdaleforVeep]

Tell her 'your rump is a big as the queens! and twice as fragrant!'

http://www.supersimpsons.com/plaid-piper.jpg
"WHAT DIDJA SAY ABOUT ME MOTHER?!?!"

[SABRSox]

I hardly use cash anymore anyway. Not when I've got this:

0qAuqq1LFnU

[getonbckthr]

I fucked the queen. What so I like the women a little older.

[zmz]

I fucked the queen. What so I like the women a little older.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/shared-blogs/palmbeach/cerabino/media/queen.jpg\


:chunks:

[itsnotrequired]

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/shared-blogs/palmbeach/cerabino/media/queen.jpg\


:chunks:

Pussy ain't got a face.

I was at the HoB tonight. I gave them paper with dead presidents' faces on them and they gave me beer. Then I won.

[fquaye14ten]

your fucking money is lame, sox ed. it looks like fucking monopoly money. real money is green, and you ought to know that

[SoxEd]

your fucking money is lame, sox ed. it looks like fucking monopoly money. real money is green, and you ought to know that

First of all, our notes are considerably more betterer than yours;
the color coding and differing sizes of our notes means that you never accidentally give a barman a £50 instead of a £5 when drunk.

Second of all, your coins are of a quality commensurate with the items that you'd find in a Christmas Cracker.
From Walmart.
In their 'bargain'/'value' range.

:p:

Ours, are (by contrast) solid and confidence-inspiring, like back in the good old days....
:oldman:

[fquaye14ten]

2 quid coins are fucking lame. you know how easy it was to give the hotdog vendor a two pound coin without thinking to yourself hey fuck this is FOUR DOLLARS?

coins are gay dude seriously.

[SoxFan76]

I don't even use cash. I'm all about the debit card. Makes things a lot easier.

[SoxEd]

2 quid coins are fucking lame. you know how easy it was to give the hotdog vendor a two pound coin without thinking to yourself hey fuck this is FOUR DOLLARS?

coins are gay dude seriously.

No - our coins are absolutely fine - it's our ludicrous prices that blow goats (with extreme prejudice).

:mad:

[SoxEd]

In other news, I just ate a Hostess Twinkie.

Do people in your country really eat the things?

It makes British 'cuisine' look (almost) healthy!
:omg:

[StockdaleforVeep]

You also have sworn allegiance to canada

Canada is like that bad neighbor apartment above a really cool party

[SoxEd]

You also have sworn allegiance to canada

Canada is like that bad neighbor apartment above a really cool party

So, you're saying that Canadia has lots of open space but nothing cool going on, and they ain't invited to the banging party going on just below them?

At least they have a lot of Beaver....
:eek:

[JohnBasedowYoda]

First of all, our notes are considerably more betterer than yours;
the color coding and differing sizes of our notes means that you never accidentally give a barman a £50 instead of a £5 when drunk.

Second of all, your coins are of a quality commensurate with the items that you'd find in a Christmas Cracker.
From Walmart.
In their 'bargain'/'value' range.

:p:

Ours, are (by contrast) solid and confidence-inspiring, like back in the good old days....
:oldman:


Your vanity damns you

[Palehose13]

Man, all these bills suck. They don't look "federal" enough. Ours really are the best.

My critique exactly.

I'm with you guys. All that other stuff looks like play money. Keep the fucking art on stamps.