Rip The Band Above You - Part II!

[Unregistered]

Inspired by the awesome thread (http://www.soxandthecity.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1734) by SATC's own fuh-quaye.

I'll start with...


U2.

[LuvSox]

Nobody cares about Roxy Music

The Police

[LuvSox]

Great job Luv

thanks

The Police have a gay name and probably make love at every given opportunity.



Journey

[Dan Mega]

Journey, love will never find you unless you look to your own bandmates for it.

White Stripes

[StockdaleforVeep]

Overrated 2 piece garbage, above par guitar, subpar lesser than industrial timing drumming

coldplay

[fquaye14ten]

you were in an earnest p worrel movie, you limey sugarsoaked faggotmongers

imagine hearing poo...i do

[CaptainBallz]

way to not add another band, asspunch!!

[fquaye14ten]

my bad.

the band: LIVE

[Dan Mega]

Oh I hear Live
sucking yet again
like the rolling stones
they fucking suck

Motley Crue

[CaptainBallz]

Oh, Motley Crue.. So WILD AND CRAZY WITH YOUR HAIR AND YOUR LA LIFESTYLE!!
Get fucked you sugar coated, makeup wearin, fatso- faggos.. Hey Mick MArs.. NICE BONES!!

Interpol

[fquaye14ten]

let's say words like "pavement" and sing like ian curtis and everyone will think we're british.

too bad just being british isn't enough to make you "good"

and as far as being a ripoff of joy division goes, at least New Order had songs you could dance to instead of mopey dopey anthems about thousands of couches



red hot chili peppers

[Dan Mega]

what a gay name for a band

the hold steady

[CaptainBallz]

dead

Dream Theater

[fquaye14ten]

stockdale probably likes them

joe satriani

[Dan Mega]

steve vai is better

stix

[CaptainBallz]

can't even spell their shitty name right.

Toto

[fquaye14ten]

africa is the biggest abortion of a song known to men and is so gay it is probably as aids-ridden as its namesake


pavement

[3D23]

Who the fucking fuck names a band pavement, unless you are trying to insinuate that people just roll over top of you? Gay name for a gay band.

Theory of a Deadman

[Prope]

Well it ain't no supriiiiiiissseee, you're just like every other fuckin shitty band out there right now.

Jimmy's Chicken Shack

EDIT: damn it, Chips beat me to my clever slam of Theory

[fquaye14ten]

hey 3d it helps if you have an idea who a band is....

Well it ain't no supriiiiiiissseee, you're just like every other fuckin shitty band out there right now.

Jimmy's Chicken Shack

EDIT: damn it, Chips beat me to my clever slam of Theory

gosh their one song was so insipid i can't remember the name of it nor how it went at all but i still am plagued by its memory


blur

[Dan Mega]

Blur. More proof that rock music from Europe blows fucking chunks give or take a few bands.

LFO

[SFS04]

Extra Lame Ovaries

Lily Allen

[Unregistered]

Extra Lame Ovaries

Lily Allen
Can't sing, about 1/32 as talented as her "rival" Amy Winehouse who is a slightly less annoying British version of Pink. Also, it's no secret that she wouldn't even have a record deal if her dad wasn't a celebrity in England.

The Cardigans

[SFS04]

Jeez Unreg you spent so long with your Anglo-vitriol that you fucked up the order.

[Dan Mega]

Nice job deleting my last post.

[fquaye14ten]

the cardigans? you're a fucking swedish pop band but you say your biggest influence is Black Sabbath? Unlikely. You sound sugarsugar abba bullshit to me. Plus your fucking album was named after a fucking race car video game



bush

america: everyone thinks you're neil young, but you're not, which has to be demoralizing:

the band that's not even good enough to be neil young.


the band

[Unregistered]

the cardigans? you're a fucking swedish pop band but you say your biggest influence is Black Sabbath? Unlikely. You sound sugarsugar abba bullshit to me. Plus your fucking album was named after a fucking race car video game



bush

Gavin Rossdale is far less interesting than he thinks he is. He finally got the hint about 6 albums in that nobody was listening anymore.

Kings of Leon

[fquaye14ten]

the name of the band is kings of leon


brendan benson

[Unregistered]

the name of the band is kings of leon


brendan benson

"Brendan Benson's solo work is totally weenie and Jack White thinks about stuff too much otherwise I would have checked them out. I actually thought some of Benson's music WAS pretty good, just a little weenie." Plus, Brendan Benson ate shit in Detroit. That's gross.

Bob Marley

[fquaye14ten]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/3b/Wailers_group_high_res%28resized%29.jpg/220px-Wailers_group_high_res%28resized%29.jpg

hey i'm a big philosophical and political figure...too bad all my "genius" songs consist of the exact same backbeat and guitar pattern and my lyrics have a vocabulary of like 15 words



heart

[1951Campbell]

heart

You guys have vaginas and play guitar? Whoop-dee-fuckin'-doo.

The Clash

[fquaye14ten]

wow, joe strummer has rudimentary political beliefs and he likes black music? someone give him a posthumous medal for inventing white liberal guilt.

fuck the clash, especially their arena rock phase.


anal cunt

[Unregistered]

You guys have vaginas and play guitar? Whoop-dee-fuckin'-doo.

The Clash

Words like "overrated" were invented for The Clash. Wow, look how incredibly important "London Calling" is. Now look again. Everyone moved on to something else.


Weezer

[1951Campbell]

anal cunt

Oooh, the c-word is in your name, how shocking! I bet you really stick it to the bourgeoisie and the squares.

Skid Row.

[Unregistered]

Oooh, the c-word is in your name, how shocking! I bet you really stick it to the bourgeoisie and the squares.

Skid Row.
Is there a bigger loser in rock than Sebastian Bach? What a dildo. And that's not even taking into account the lame-ass shit his horrible band put out in the 80's.



Planet Smashers

From Wikipedia: "The Planet Smashers are a third-wave ska band from Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Since their formation in 1994, they have been a staple of the Montreal scene."

French-Canadian Ska? Fucking pass-a-rooney.


Tears For Fears

[fquaye14ten]

dude...as if new wave wasn't pussified enough by depeche mode, the cure, echo and the bunnymen and the smiths, tears for fears somehow found a way to make it even gayer....wow...



primus

[1951Campbell]

Did the world really need a Jimi Hendrix of the bass? Not if Primus was the result.

Free

[fquaye14ten]

Elemental is probably the boring album in the history of manking. Cold? What kind of fucking song is that? Stop Cold. Stop Cold. Stop Cold, etc. etc. Fucking boring ass pussy music from a bunch of fucking pillow biting faggots. Pass.

Tha 446

the dude with the red dreadlocks looks really scummy


born/raised

[Unregistered]

Did the world really need a Jimi Hendrix of the bass? Not if Primus was the result.

Free

A shitty band that got shittier when they decided they would start Bad Company. "All Right Now" was a pigshit one hit to have if you're a one-hit wonder.

the dude with the red dreadlocks looks really scummy


born/raised

Fucking bullshit pop songs with lyrics about girls. How novel.


At The Drive In

[fquaye14ten]

there is nothing bad to say about atdi, and yet i still don't listen to their cd past track 3 :shrug:



cake

[Dan Mega]

"Cake"- lame name for such cool music.

Chumbawumba

[Unregistered]

"Cake"- lame name for such cool music.

Chumbawumba

If one more person tells me that they're actually a really introspective political band despite their awful fucking "Tubthumper" single, I'm gonna shit. They're Arcade Fire without the talent.

Soundgarden

[Prope]

Chris Cornell can't sing for shit. (awaits a banning from Zoso)

Sonic Youth

[fquaye14ten]

oh gee whiz....difficult must = good.

i'm glad no one i respect likes their music because then i would no longer respect them.



dinosaur jr

[Dan Mega]

They're Arcade Firewithout the talent.


A team of 30 men recently came back from an exploration deep within the Arcade Fire realm.

"This realm is devoid of any talent," Dr. Roger Waters remarked.



Sixpence None the Richer

[fquaye14ten]

A team of 30 men recently came back from an exploration deep within the Arcade Fire realm.

"This realm is devoid of any talent," Dr. Roger Waters remarked.



Sixpence None the Richer

my name's dan mega and i can't follow the rules, therefore i'm the lead singer of 6pence


dinosaur jr

[Unregistered]

oh gee whiz....difficult must = good.

i'm glad no one i respect likes their music because then i would no longer respect them.



dinosaur jr

j mascis is the king of taking himself too seriously. dinosaur jr were a perfectly rated band in that no one really ever bothered to "rate" them at all.

The Roots

[Dan Mega]

The Roots

I think wong likes them so they must suck ass in RL.

Heavy D and the Boyz

[fquaye14ten]

hey...you take something that's like a rock band, but not as good, and someone who's like a rapper who's not as good and you get the roots.

if they were white, they would be linkin park, but they're not, so people give them completely undeserved respect.


jamiroqua

I think wong likes them so they must suck ass in RL.

Heavy D and the Boyz

heavy d and the boyz suck

jamiroquai

[Unregistered]

jamiroquai

A corny Stevie Wonder ripoff fronted by a spoiled rich boy. It's music for ravers who think raver music is too aggressive.


Maroon 5

[Dan Mega]

I bet SFS04 thinks Maroon 5's lead singer is hot, which isn't a good thing.

Cradle of Filth

[Unregistered]

I bet SFS04 thinks Maroon 5's lead singer is hot, which isn't a good thing.

Cradle of Filth

I'm pretty sure Cira hates them, which is good enough for me. When it comes to shit like that, Cira knows what's up. Plus, like Anal Cunt, they're one of those bands with overweight white guys trying to scare you. And then you see their band photo and you're like "dude, you're from Elgin."


Neko Case

[SFS04]

I bet SFS04 thinks Maroon 5's lead singer is hot, which isn't a good thing.

As an aside, pass. I could probably take him in a fight, and that's not how I like my guys.

[LuvSox]

Neko Case

Nobody outside of Fayetteville Arkansas knows who that is.



The Cult

[CaptainBallz]

The Cunt


Bloc PArty

[Unregistered]

The Cunt


Bloc PArty

Deciding to "do something different" on their latest album has made them the lamest, whiniest band in years. Congrats, guys.

Black Sabbath

[1951Campbell]

Black Sabbath

So heavy and plodding that they make Imperial Walkers look like ballerinas by comparison.

Flaming Lips.

[CaptainBallz]

hey Wayne, way to lodge your head so far up your own anus that you forgot that melodically rich, uber-produced rock albums should be, y'know, listenable...


Cat Power

[fquaye14ten]

zoso doesn't understand the game

everyone thinks that chan chick is hot but she's really not all that hot. plus her music is slow, plodding, and lacks anything that makes chick singers good (i.e. mostly that they're hot)

cat power is for girls and for guys who want to make sure girls know they're attracted to quirky girls.

thumbs down.




garbage

outkast--i liked you better when you used to be two dudes rapping, not one dude rapping for an entire album and one guy singing shitty soul songs for an entire album.

oh wait a minute, even when you DID rap, you still filled at least 75% of the running time of your albums with absolutely unlistenable skits


garbage

[fquaye14ten]

yakkety yak

don't talk back

[Unregistered]

zoso doesn't understand the game

everyone thinks that chan chick is hot but she's really not all that hot. plus her music is slow, plodding, and lacks anything that makes chick singers good (i.e. mostly that they're hot)

cat power is for girls and for guys who want to make sure girls know they're attracted to quirky girls.

thumbs down.




garbage

outkast--i liked you better when you used to be two dudes rapping, not one dude rapping for an entire album and one guy singing shitty soul songs for an entire album.

oh wait a minute, even when you DID rap, you still filled at least 75% of the running time of your albums with absolutely unlistenable skits


garbage

Hi, I'm Butch Vig. After slaving away making a respectable name for myself in the indie/underground community as a producer, all the while playing in the embarrassingly heartfelt pop band Spooner, I decided to parlay my Nirvana success into forming one of the most boring, soulless "alternative" bands of the '90s. Pop music for NIN and Erasure fans. Shirley Manson is a phony who gets cool points because she's Irish. The music is mediocre, overproduced and ultimately useless. Is it Garbage or Republica?

The Shins

[Beer Can Chicken]

The Shins blow live in concert.

Queen

[Dan Mega]

Eddie Mercury had AIDS.

Prince

[Dan Mega]

Can't see what he's doing.

Bill Withers

[CaptainBallz]

Who?


Patrick Swayze

[SFS04]

If i can get anything I want in Alice's Restaurant, why can't I get laid?

Debbie Gibson

[fquaye14ten]

they just plain suck



bob seger

[Ziggy]

A trio of guys playing endless solos ad nauseum, especially a drummer playing a twenty minute solo, which seems longer than that length? YAY Also, White Room with black curtains in the station, What the Fuck?

G.G. Allin

If nobody knows who he was use Iron Maiden

[Dan Mega]

A heroin addict fuckup that was named Jesus Christ at birth by his wacko father. Seriously.

Buckethead

[Myrtle]

A heroin addict fuckup that was named Jesus Christ at birth by his wacko father. Seriously.

Buckethead

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bd/Buckethead.jpg/200px-Buckethead.jpg

Elliott Smith

[TeeDeeGee]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bd/Buckethead.jpg/200px-Buckethead.jpg

Elliott Smith

Getting stabbed stabbing yourself in the chest once wasn't good enough? :jagoff:


Neutral Milk Hotel

[Prope]

Based on the name, sounds like the TDG of rock and/or roll bands

Wu-Tang Clan

[LuvSox]

Wu-Tang Clan

More felonies than Grammys





Nickelback

[LuvSox]

Teh beach boyz


Rhonda's a whore





Yes

[Prope]

^^^The correct answer is: Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with, promptly closing the thread because indeed it is true. Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.

Also, Yes? Fuckin too obvious

No Doubt

[CaptainBallz]

No Doubt

No Tits


AC/DC

[LuvSox]

AC/DC

The Loop loves you, therefore I hate you






Steve Miller

[CaptainBallz]

Freddy Mercury sucks AIDS cocks in hell...


Ok Go

[the fluffer]

is GO the band I am supposed to be ripping??

[CaptainBallz]

no, it's "Ok Go".. y'know, they suck, but make quirky videos featuring gay dance routines... And by gay I mean gay

[the fluffer]

ok, so what band am I supposed to rip on?

[CaptainBallz]

Here, I'll show ya,,,

It pains me to do this:

pv5zWaTEVkI

[the fluffer]

Hi. My name is Bruce. I took guitar lessons with the lone intention of creating a complete mockery the instrument. I insult the intelligence of Andreas Segovia and Christopher Parkening with every note I masturbate... and with each dollar I count.

PS - I'm a raging homoKWEER and I crawl on exercise equipment to prove as such, n shit.

oh yea, and I'll add the next band... which is asking for a message board beat down......

The Seven Mary Verve Box 20s

[dcb]

The Seven Mary Verve Box 20s...hey wait a minute, that's not a real band at all.

:phony:

This game is too easy. Regardless of whether or not the Seven Mary Verve Whateves are a real band or not, I'm still going to call them gay and mention how all the members of the group are flaming queers.

Next.

Creed

[fquaye14ten]

More felonies than Grammys



i guess zero is greater than zero now?

neverhtless WU TANG IS FOR THE CHILDREN

:scottstapp:

Alice in Chains



Hey look---I can sing like I'm taking a shit and my guitarist can play like his guitar is taking a shit, and my backup vocalists can sing like they're helping me take a shit.

[Myrtle]

:poo:

[fquaye14ten]

:shrug:

kanye west

:shrug:

kanye west

[Prope]

Mike Myers doesn't care about egotistical self righteous black people.

Lupe Fiasco

[Ziggy]

Ooooh, look at me, I rap about stuff besides bling, hoes, and guns. I'm important.


King Diamond

[LuvSox]

Neither a King nor a Diamond


Guns -n- Roses

[fquaye14ten]

i will fucking kill you zoso. i seriously will fucking kill you for talking bad about my man william.

csny? you sound like a barbershop quartet would if one of the members were a donkey. suite judy blue eyes could have been a good song if it was maybe 3 minutes long instead of 7. our house could not have been a good song if it were performed by cream with jimmy page on lead guitar and mick jagger on vocals


led zeppelin

[CaptainBallz]

*WAITS FOR GENE*

[Ziggy]

Led Zeppelin-They stole more money from blues musicians and folk singers by plaigriizing their material than Worldcom's and Enron's CEO's stole from their employees.

Megadeth

[StockdaleforVeep]

Dave Mustaines Pussy "Oh metallica wounded me, i made them" band
Who cares, metallica got their stuff from motorhead and blitzkrieg, every band copies each other

Panic at the disco

[Dan Mega]

Is that a guyliner band fronted by Longshot?

Queens of the Stone Age

[StockdaleforVeep]

Is that a guyliner band fronted by Longshot?

Queens of the Stone Age

http://www.theagitator.net/uploads/idol-07-winner-truth.gif

[Ziggy]

It's like Kyuss with the bass taken out. Fuck dat shit.

Earth, Wind, and Fire

[Longshot7]

Panic at the disco

I honestly can't name one of their songs. Should I be offended?

and Earth Wind and Fire is boring fusion 70s elevator music.


Foo Fighters.

[1951Campbell]

Foo Fighters.

I'm supposed to be impressed that a drummer who can't stand up to the big dog in the real band had to wait until someone died to get his songs out there?

Dinosaur Jr.

[TeeDeeGee]

I honestly can't name one of their songs. Should I be offended?

They have a song called "The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage", and from what I understand, they don't mention Chuck Palahniuk in the liner notes.
And that's only one of the things that makes them gay uncool.

[Pick a name, Buddy]

fquaye already said dinosaur jr.

Was (Not Was)

*btw, today was the first time I saw this thread and there are some EPIC posts on here. Glad I was not drinking whilst reading...

And what is up with Chopperton staying all old school on us. America? Arlo Guthrie? What next, Bachman-Turner Overweight?

[Dan Mega]

Was? As in Never Was Anything?

Tracy Chapman

[SABRSox]

RF9BjB7Bzr0

The Proclaimers

[Longshot7]

They have a song called "The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage", and from what I understand, they don't mention Chuck Palahniuk in the liner notes.
And that's only one of the things that makes them gay uncool.

Oh, that does suck.

Proclaimers - less remembered for their one hit wonder than the movie in which that song came from.


Slayer.

[StockdaleforVeep]

Slayer is not able to clone themselves and play every day

Vanilla Ice

[fquaye14ten]

despite making a better song than hammer has become a chuck norris-esque meme among white suburban teenagers for which he never shall be forgave


Helmet

[Longshot7]

never able to repeat the success of In the Meantime - and every album since then sounds like it. Also we hear them all the time at our practice space.

Dead Milkmen

[fquaye14ten]

punk rock girl is the lamest song i've ever heard, and i've heard barbie girl

sponge

[Unregistered]

Them and Seven Mary Three were neck and neck for the title of "worst band to suck the teet of the grunge era."


Spoon

[The Racehorse]

Them and Seven Mary Three were neck and neck for the title of "worst band to suck the teet of the grunge era."


Spoon
stab their ass with a rusty butter knife

Ted Nugent

[Doug Simpson]

stab their ass with a rusty butter knife

Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent....
I only eat what I can kill.
Guns are great.
I'm just like Daver.


Midnight Oil.

[The Racehorse]

Ted Nugent....
I only eat what I can kill.
Guns are great.
I'm just like Daver.


Midnight Oil.

midnight oil = fosters beer

Butthole Surfers

[the_guy_in_leftfield]

a pungent aroma.

Wham (1st thought when reading Butthole Surfers.):ridiculous:

[Dan Mega]

a pungent aroma.

Wham (1st thought when reading Butthole Surfers.):ridiculous:

:gay:

Candlebox

[Longshot7]

:gay:

Candlebox

not an insult.......................


and Candlebox - a wannabe hair metal band in the time of grunge. A musical anachronism if there ever were one.


Queensryche.

[Doug Simpson]

not an insult.......................


and Candlebox - a wannabe hair metal band in the time of grunge. A musical anachronism if there ever were one.


Queensryche.

Queensryche.

We wish we were 1/2 as cool as Pink Floyd
*que Chips to talk about Floyd* :stroke:


Dream Theater

[Pick a name, Buddy]

Worst logo in the history of rock

http://s16000.gridserver.com/discoclub/TheWho.jpg


Thompson Twins

[Doug Simpson]

Thompson Twins.

None are named Thompson.
Not really twins.
Actually a trio.
All have bad teeth.

5 Guys Named Moe.

[fquaye14ten]

when a band's so obscure I haven't even heard of them they probably suck balls

red hot chili pepers

[SABRSox]

5 Guys Named Moe... isn't that the Beatles cover band that tours Mokena, Orland Park, Frankfurt, and wherever else their mom's VW bus will get them?

[cheeses_h_rice]

Muse: Radiohead cover band with a really kick-ass laser show.

[SABRSox]

I think Muse is more Queen than Radiohead.

[Dan Mega]

Nice job naming another band SABR and Cheeses :rolleyes:

I'll do it then.

Faith No More

[Pick a name, Buddy]

Song craftsmanship that would last a lunchtime!

Pat Metheny (Group)

[Dan Mega]

Herbie Hancock made you look silly.

Meshuggah

[Pick a name, Buddy]

Herbie Hancock made you look silly.

Meshuggah

Herbie Hancock????????

[Ziggy]

A metal band that writes songs with five million time signature changes, even though every tune is in the same key and the lead vocalist does the same kind of bellowing all the fucking time, but hey the guitar solos rule so we have to listen? Eh, anything beyond maybe two or three of their discs is overkill.

The Mentors

[WingedDonkey]

Sickie Wifebeater should have joined Air Supply

King Missile

[Ziggy]

Like I care about a guy whose dick isn't permanently attached to his body, right.

Anal Cunt

[fquaye14ten]

sucked so bad seth's brain attacked him..


primus

[fquaye14ten]

cocaine killed your baby

pantera

[Ziggy]

Oh terrific, new wave music crossed with watered down Ministry and add in tortured "I love pain and misery lyrics". Bah, hambug.

The Rolling Stones

[fquaye14ten]

are you still playing? Look out in your audience and see the kind of cuntsops who go to your show. Do you really think you're any different from them?

fquaye14ten added 0 Minutes and 16 Seconds later...

smashing pumpkins

[Ziggy]

Let's see what we have here.

Whiny lyrics-check
Nasally/whiny voice-check
Band reunion only has two original members-check
Singer is a little bitch and a Scrub fan to boot-Checkmate

Combination-They Fucking Suck and should have broken up after Mellon Collie

Venom